i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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