AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
