whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
