Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
