dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
