oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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