Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
