beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
