Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
