Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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