Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
