I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
