fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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