just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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