Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
