no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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