Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
