They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
