I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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