making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
