We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
