Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
