i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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