In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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