We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We left an ass print on the piano.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Randomize
