you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
