Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
