Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
