I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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