is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I still have a little drunk in my system
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
