I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My vagina just clenched in fear
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
