I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
