This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
