i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
