JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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