I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
