She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
