between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
