Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
