You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
