I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
