Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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