I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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