i just had sex bonerless
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It's blow job season.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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