you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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