his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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