We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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