you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
