I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
