bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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