When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
