VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
