Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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