3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
